Editorial: How the Grinch will steal your Christmas


Every Who in Ottawa

Liked elections a lot…

But Paul Martin

Who lived on Mount Corrupt

Did Not!


But there he stands this Christmas season

Hating the Whos for forcing the reason

It could be that his pals had run out of money

It could be perhaps the people don’t find him funny

But every Who, knew the most likely reason of all,

The scandal plagued Liberals had to fall.


But whatever the reason,

Not being funny or letting his pals take your money

He stood there this Christmas season, hating the Whos,

Staring down from Mount Corrupt with grinchy frowns


He saw politicians stumping all over Canadian towns

Jack and Gilles were coming up his hill

Stephen Harper had scored with his GST spiel

“Oh what am I to do“ worried Martin that night

Would Canadians vote against the left and the right

The gears in his head started spinning

“I must keep the Liberals winning“

Some are worried about issues, he said with a sneer

His campaign manager said Happy New Year, the election is almost here


Create programs and legislate

Dole out billions and pontificate

That’s it said Martin with a smirk

As he set out with your taxes to make his plan work

He got his gremlins, tall and small

To line up and say once and for all

“Let‘s blame the Whos for the government‘s fall“


“I know just what to do,“ Martin laughed in his throat.

“I‘ll make empty promises in return for their vote.“

And he chuckled, and clucked, “I‘ve got a great proposition.

“With some lies we‘ll destroy the opposition”

He flew out his cave with money and schemes

Feeling cocky that he could realize his dreams


The plan was enacted,

The ballots were about to be cast,

The sham, he was sure, will make voters return to the past.


With grinchy style, Martin attacked Harper

Calling him a phoney and a right-wing interloper

Layton he said was a fake

Who was all icing and no cake

As for Duceppe, the leader of the Bloc

The Grinch stuffed separatist fear into his sock

No one could stand in his way

Not even the Green Party had any sway

The Grinch was sure he would win

After all he had money for the spin.

He wooed the masses with his empty vows

Everywhere he went, the Grinch got the bows


This left the Whos shaking in fear,

The polls were saying it will be the Liberals who will be here

The Whos had something to be worried

Like the Grinch, to their extreme visions they were married.

They had only themselves to blame

Because an election during Christmas is definitely a shame

Stephen Harper could not say love

Jack Layton wanted Medicare to pay for his gloves

Worst of all was that fella Gilles

Who wanted to give Canadians the separation chills


The Whos say they can win the country in a cinch

Canada will be mine insists the Grinch

So it‘s left to us to find a way

We must try again for a government that can stay

The Asian Pacific Post, with apologies to Dr. Seuss

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